Year: Senior
Major: Pre-Med and Africana Studies
I used to stare at blank screens for hours, trying so hard to cling onto a strong enough sequence of words to form a sentence. I would repeat the same cycle each time I’d be given any longer assignment: The passion and excitement to have things “be different” this time, attempting to make progress only to end up empty-handed and with the feeling of failure. I would put it off to avoid that feeling and then had to use every ounce of energy in a panic to put together something for submission. Each time, I felt shame at the situation I found myself in and the mediocre work I produced—with a promise and a plan to have things be different next time.
I would’ve never thought I had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). It was just for those who can’t sit still or bounce their legs a lot, right? Wrong. I would later go to Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) in search of answers to why I couldn’t do what seemed so easy for everyone else. That’s when I learned I had ADHD. It means that I may hyper-fixate on certain topics or tasks for hours, or that completing the simplest tasks can feel like nails to a chalkboard. Having ADHD means I have a fundamentally different brain, like having brown eyes or being tall. Now that I know how my brain works, I can work so much better with it! This whole time I was trying to force myself into a box I didn’t belong in, instead of using the individual strengths that make me who I am! Reaching out for support and learning more about myself—about how I function—has made all the difference for my confidence.